


on interpersonal relationships between lieutenants and civilian consultants

by Sanna_Black_Slytherin



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Banter, Chloe is awkward, Episode s3e13 Til Death Do Us Part, Fluff, Humor, Lucifer is Lucifer, M/M, Pierce is confused, casually bisexual Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 23:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13774587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanna_Black_Slytherin/pseuds/Sanna_Black_Slytherin
Summary: Chloe misjudges Lucifer's relationship with the lieutenant, Lucifer does nothing to disabuse her of that notion, and Pierce is caught in the middle.





	on interpersonal relationships between lieutenants and civilian consultants

**Author's Note:**

> So I was watching season three, and the idea popped into my head, so here it is. Short and sweet and painless, featuring casually bisexual Lucifer and awkwardly supportive Chloe.

“So,” Chloe said, “Pierce.”

Lucifer peered up at her from where he was lounging in the swivel chair he had commandeered from Detective Douche’s desk. Honestly, the man could stand to lose some weight; it’d do him some good not to sit down all the time. “What about our dear lieutenant?”

Chloe was fidgeting. “You and him.”

“Me and—“ Lucifer blinked. “What are you going on about?”

“I mean, I don’t mind that he’s a guy,” Chloe went on. “I know that you’ve slept with guys before, and that’s—that’s cool. I mean, not cool, but, you know, normal.”

What was she talking about? Did Maze put her up to this? It sounded just like a Maze thing to do.

“Oh, detective,” Lucifer purred. “Nothing about me is normal.” Nor about Cain, either—not that the detective would know that. “I’m the Devil, remember?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Yes, you claim that you’re the Devil. Kind of hard to forget when you keep reminding us every other minute.” Her voice was exasperated, but unless Lucifer was sorely mistaken, there was note of affection in it, too.

Huh. Curious.

He sometimes wished that the detective was as susceptible to his charms as every other being, because Lucifer didn’t understand her. What made her tick? What made her tock?

If Linda were here, she would have told him that he would do well to reflect on his own motives before trying to dissect someone else’s, but Linda wasn’t here, and Lucifer wasn’t some bloody therapist. He was the Devil.

“Detective,” Lucifer replied casually, absentmindedly twirling one of Chloe’s pens, “as much as I enjoy the roads down which your mind is undoubtedly going, the lieutenant and I are not sleeping together.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I saw you at the stint. Pierce may be good at maintaining his cover, but you never fake emotions. You hide them, sure, but faking? You don’t do that. Too close to lying.”

“Well,” Lucifer drew out the word, “I do suppose that the lieutenant isn’t entirely unattractive, but rest assured that there is no love lost between him and I.”

Chloe fixed him with an unimpressed look. “Lucifer, I saw the two of you. You can’t convince me that the marriage part was a sham. Or”—she held up a finger when Lucifer opened his mouth to object, and he closed it again—“the marriage part might have been, but the relationship certainly wasn’t.”

Lucifer tossed a pen into the air, then caught it, before looking back at Chloe with a raised eyebrow. “Detective, how many times do I have to tell you that—“

“You know,”—she crossed her arms—“I’m mostly just upset that you didn’t tell me.”

Lucifer blinked again. It seemed that today was a day for surprises after all.

“What makes you think that the lieutenant and I are doing the horizontal tango?” he asked, curious despite himself. “Or vertical. It’s actually more fun that way.” He winked at her, ignoring her stifled groan at his constant innuendos.

“Is Pierce comfortable with you hitting on everyone within sight?” Chloe asked pointedly.

“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Why wouldn’t who be?” asked the man in question, appearing behind Lucifer like a jack-o’-lantern. In his hand, he was holding what was undoubtedly another case file for them.

A small smirk graced Lucifer’s features as he made a split-second decision. “Oh, you know, love,” he hummed as he threw his arm around Pierce’s waist, drawing him closer, “how you’re so comfortable with me flirting with everyone.”

Cain fixed him with an expression that perfectly conveyed what he thought of Lucifer’s mental state. “What are you rambling about this time, Morningstar?” He turned to Chloe. “Is he feeling alright? Do I need to send him home?”

Lucifer’s other hand sneaked its way into Pierce’s jeans pocket. Pierce swatted it away, glaring pointedly at the brunet.

Chloe sighed. “No,” she assured Pierce, though her eyes flickered between the two men. “Everything is normal—or as normal as things get here, at any rate.”

And apparently, she added in her mind, Lucifer flirting with Pierce was normal now.

Of course it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Somewhat pointless, but I needed to get it out there. So. Here you are. Opinions?


End file.
